Enough

Sometimes I feel like everyone, male or female goes through these stages in life where they feel like they aren’t enough. Heck, I’m there right now. The media at large doesn’t exactly help, especially when it comes to self image.

We see all these picture perfect women; absolutely gorgeous, “flawless” skin, the “right” size, the “right” look and in the meantime.. The majority of that image is photo-shopped to look perfect.

We see all these drop dead gorgeous men, built like Adonis; that supposedly are every girls dream man and to an extent it’s true.
We get force fed a public image that we then want; just so that once we get it, we can project it to the world. Like a “HEY LOOK AT ME, I MADE IT” kind of thing

I can’t date/befriend him because he’s not built enough, he’s not tall enough, he’s not smart enough, he’s not rich enough…
I can’t date/befriend her because she’s not thin enough, she’s not pretty enough, she’s not smart enough , she’s not rich enough…

Your friends and family will sometimes judge your choices like it’s going to be the death of you and yet they have no right to judge.*
Personally? I often feel like I’m not pretty enough, like I’m not smart enough, like I’m not skinny or athletic or whatever enough. I feel like less of a woman. Less of a person because of it, and I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.
Rationally I know, rationally we all know, that we are enough, we’re smart enough, witty, talented, pretty and whatever else enough.

However, these feelings of inadequacy that you deal with on a daily bases, they tend to tear you apart inside; making you doubt yourself and sometimes you literally just need to, as harsh as it may sound, step away from the self pity. You need to realize that to someone out there, you are enough. Heck you’re more than enough, you’re absolutely perfect.

The majority of the world will always find imperfections within others and acknowledge only what is wrong with you but the minority in your world will see those imperfections as part of you and focus instead on the perfection that is you, even though you are flawed.

I believe that the most beautiful things in this world, are all slightly flawed in some way or another, and that makes them absolutely perfect.

* I’m not condoning substance abuse of any sort – this strictly refers to dating or being friends with someone considered “not enough”

Really woman?

I read the original expression on UCT Confessions and I felt the inane desire to respond accordingly and I did. No doubt the response will receive critical reviews (grammar nazi’s, sexists, feminists and the like) but honesty some women just don’t get it. There is a lot more to life than money or looks or the petty things that women seem to go on about. I’m female and even I get annoyed by the fact the stereotypes enforce the fact that ALL women want a guy with money and looks and that irks me to no end.

I don’t want a guy for money or looks. I want someone who will be happy with me and accept me as I am. I’ve learnt to be strong enough on my own before coming to rely on any one else. Granted I have my moments of weakness where I’m “stupid” and act rashly but that makes me human, not fragile or vapid.

This world we live in is filled with misconceptions. Like those you’ll read below but honestly? Change takes time. Some people are old fashioned, others too independent for their own good (and that’s when trouble comes calling ). Women can’t change the view of all the men in the world but they should focus on changing the views of the men who matter in their lives.
Relationships are a give and take. Not only a take or only a give. It’s a partnership.

Granted the expression is meant as a light hearted joke but the sad truth is that many men won’t accept it as a joke. Females will see it in a light hearted manner but turn the tables and BAM most of them scream and rage at the “blatant sexism” and begin baying for blood.

So here is the expression and my response…
(I thought I’d post it here first)

In response to UCTExpression 2893

1.The nice men are ugly.
-No. You friend zoned that motherfucker so hard he saw stars before you had a chance to see what he “looks” like INSIDE. Looks fade with age, personality doesn’t ( just a tip though : plastic surgery won’t help you either ..)
Also. Take what you can get woman (if his handsome, ugly whatever), I’m not saying settle but no-one likes the crazy cat lady next door.

2.The handsome men are not nice.
-That’s an assumption. Just like my assumption that you are intelligent.

3.The handsome and nice men are gay.
-gay guys usually know where to find the hottest guys – make use of that

4.The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
-The hot nice girl is dating a douchebag anyway

5.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money
-The girls who aren’t so pretty but are nice shouldn’t care about money. That’s why they’re NICE

6.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
-The girls who aren’t so hot, think they’re the shit without having anything to back it up, seem to be the money hungry greedy bitches.
(Just a tip for the guys .. It’s called a Pre-Nup )

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
– Same applies to chicks if the situation were reversed ( it always comes down to the money doesn’t it? It’s no wonder you get those misogynistic chauvinistic bastards who think women are beneath them. Make your own damn money )

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.
-The beautiful girls have self esteem issues when the aforementioned not so pretty girls think they’re the shit ( where is the logic in that )

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
-Girls need to grow that metaphorical pair and approach a guy. How dare you spout feminist bullshit about being equals when you won’t even a approach a guy. CONFIDENCE is sexy ( but arrogance is not – back your shit up )

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
-Again. Where’s the equality? Confidence trumps arrogance.

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
-Okay, this seems to happen since some guys can’t deal with what they perceive to be a “dominant” female. But quit whining and find a guy who can, there are plenty of guys who dig that.

NOW, WHO CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND MEN?
– Bitch please, who can really understand women ?? I’m female and I don’t even understand the way some women think.
You want what you can’t have and when you get it you don’t want it anymore.

“”Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job, to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.”
-stomp on a woman and she’ll cry abuse, so this reverse won’t work

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.”
W. C. Fields

Sometimes I wonder about humanity..
And I wonder if most of us realize we’re slowly but surely loosing ours…