Is there a point, where the pain becomes too much?

Is this when you reach for that first bottle of jack hoping he’ll be a good friend and you won’t remember anything.
Hoping he’ll numb you to the sensation of having your soul stripped off, lash by lash by each emotional whipping you receive.

Is this the point where you stop taking it like a cowering dog and do your own thing, numbing yourself inside and out to avoid the bitter disappointment, all with the help of good ol’Jack?

Does Jack help you forget the first time you kissed? The 14th of January

Does Jack help you forget the intensity that flared between you? The 3rd of March

Does Jack remind you of all the good times, the laughs, the stolen kisses on starry nights or does Jack bring back memories of being taken for granted and all the tears, sleepless nights and feelings of inadequacy.

Does Jack remind you that you’re not enough?

You’re not skinny enough

You’re not pretty enough

You’re not religious enough

You’re too loud and abrasive

You’re too friendly with guys

You don’t deserve it

You never did

All you deserved was the torment you received when you were younger, a continuous cycle of hell.

You deserved it then.

You asked for it then.

You deserve this now too

Does Jack finally, slowly, take everything away, until all you see is darkness or does jack slowly numb your senses to the point where you only come awake upon impact? Perhaps not even then, because perhaps Jack did his job right this time and you’ve gotten your wish.

Your life and others destroyed, because you had to numb yourself from the constant screams of agony at each lashing.

How do you save yourself from drowning in a bottle? Even though you know the answer won’t be there, do you still try to find it there?

How do you numb yourself?

How do you find yourself again?

How do you live a lie again?



I’m rather resourceful when I need to be, and I know it. But you never knew me well enough to know it as well.

You lied.

You took me for a fool.

You fed me pretty little words and I? being the delusional fool, took to them as a bird to the wind.

And I can’t believe I’m still wasting tears on a jerk such as yourself.

I can’t believe I wasted emotion on a cretin such as yourself.

You’re definitely “scum of the earth” but you just hid it better than most.

You say you serve a higher cause but you only serve your own selfish needs.

Worst of all? You’re my own dirty little secret and you made me yours.

The wheel turns and some things are better left unsaid.

But I hope I’ll get the chance to watch your pathetic ass squirm when YOUR world comes crashing down.

I hope you’ll send me a post card from hell 🙂



She has so many secrets locked up inside nothing can ever come out. Its all trapped in the deepest recesses of her mind, and that’s where it’ll stay.

Only to be visited on days when the will to live is gone, because that’s when the bonds holding Pandora shut,break, and not even hope remains.

Something to plague the mind, body and spirit to such an extent, the next logical step involves a little magic trick learnt with a blade.

The selling of ones soul to those that dwell in the inferno, hoping to become blissfully numb and unaware.

Lulled into false security, tricked into an act that cannot be undone.

The plague returns and takes over, destroying the shell. Leaving everything a hollow husk.

The former glory of a life lived on his righteous path, in his comforting embrace, destroyed. Leaving only a hollow person.
In a hollow world.

Worst of all?
Pandora’s out.

The life blood filled with Anger,
Eyes screaming the inner Loneliness,
A husk made for Lust,
The remains of a heart drowning in Guilt,
A mind filed with Sorrow,
A mouth perfected for Betrayal,
The tongue lined with the serpents Silver,
Hands immaculately clean to deal in Greed,
A shell perfected for the downfall of mankind.

The perfect Disease for a world so cold.