Enough

Sometimes I feel like everyone, male or female goes through these stages in life where they feel like they aren’t enough. Heck, I’m there right now. The media at large doesn’t exactly help, especially when it comes to self image.

We see all these picture perfect women; absolutely gorgeous, “flawless” skin, the “right” size, the “right” look and in the meantime.. The majority of that image is photo-shopped to look perfect.

We see all these drop dead gorgeous men, built like Adonis; that supposedly are every girls dream man and to an extent it’s true.
We get force fed a public image that we then want; just so that once we get it, we can project it to the world. Like a “HEY LOOK AT ME, I MADE IT” kind of thing

I can’t date/befriend him because he’s not built enough, he’s not tall enough, he’s not smart enough, he’s not rich enough…
I can’t date/befriend her because she’s not thin enough, she’s not pretty enough, she’s not smart enough , she’s not rich enough…

Your friends and family will sometimes judge your choices like it’s going to be the death of you and yet they have no right to judge.*
Personally? I often feel like I’m not pretty enough, like I’m not smart enough, like I’m not skinny or athletic or whatever enough. I feel like less of a woman. Less of a person because of it, and I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.
Rationally I know, rationally we all know, that we are enough, we’re smart enough, witty, talented, pretty and whatever else enough.

However, these feelings of inadequacy that you deal with on a daily bases, they tend to tear you apart inside; making you doubt yourself and sometimes you literally just need to, as harsh as it may sound, step away from the self pity. You need to realize that to someone out there, you are enough. Heck you’re more than enough, you’re absolutely perfect.

The majority of the world will always find imperfections within others and acknowledge only what is wrong with you but the minority in your world will see those imperfections as part of you and focus instead on the perfection that is you, even though you are flawed.

I believe that the most beautiful things in this world, are all slightly flawed in some way or another, and that makes them absolutely perfect.

* I’m not condoning substance abuse of any sort – this strictly refers to dating or being friends with someone considered “not enough”

Hope

Okay so it’s been awhile and Merry Christmas for yesterday, I hope you had a fabulous one 🙂
Amidst all the presents and pigging out on food,
My main thought was that I was unknowingly given a gift more precious than almost anything else by a group of high school students –
On the other side of the world.

I don’t know them, and they don’t know me and well I teared up a little but shit like this gives me hope that one day everyone will be accepted, regardless of race, religion or sexual preference

These High school kids acted with more maturity than many university students I’ve met over the past two years.

I don’t care if you love another man or another woman, that’s your business. I don’t care what colour you are, your heart beats just as mine does.
I don’t care who you worship, your relationship with your god is no concern of mine.

Nobody lives forever, why live to try and make someone else miserable because of their race, religion or sexual preference.

Please give the article a read here

Seasonal Greetings All 🙂

Chasing the illusion

What is happiness?

The Web definition of Happiness:
state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

And I’m not talking about that first taste of chocolate or that ice cream cone that made your day, nor am I talking about a hug or a smile from a friend or the completion of a task.

I’m talking about the happiness that can stem from another person into you. The happiness that is supposedly found in relationships. The happiness people long for and dream of once it’s gone; because they never realized its worth, until it isn’t there anymore.

I’m lonely, I’ll admit to it but I will never compromise my “search” for happiness for “instant gratification”.  My best friend had lectured me so severely one day, I had moaned about “needing” a man in my life to make me happy, I was told I didn’t need a man in my life to be happy and even if I had one, I needed to learn to be happy by myself first.

She was right, and I am. I’m happy on my own. Sure I’ll look at guys and dream but that’s just it – a DREAM.  I don’t feel the need or desire to chase this illusion of happiness that some seem to have found. I don’t find myself having those school girl crush moments anymore. It’s like I’ve become old before my time but I’m grateful because it’s given me wisdom which is more useful to me now, than in hindsight.

There are so many women who chase this illusion and to be honest, there’s nothing wrong with hoping and praying for a better and brighter tomorrow with someone by your side, I’ve done it often enough – and I sometimes STILL so it. It’s just when as a woman you start to believe you are fated to be unhappy, you start believing in all those silly online pictures and quotes from pre-pubescent teenagers who haven’t even lived for 2 decades or people long gone.

This would never be written by any boy; It was sent to me by a friend

Is it really worth it? Being in a relationship just for that rush of happiness you feel, a rush akin to that of an adrenaline junkie taking that first step into empty air, falling, a scream voiced from the very depths of your being torn away from you by the wind as you come closer and closer, at an alarming rate to the unforgiving harshness of still waters, just to be yanked back up again by the bungee cord. Is it really worth it?

Especially if you’re taking advice from someone telling you not to give all of you? Is that really an attempt at an everlasting happiness with another or only a way to ensure that something is bound to go wrong? Even if things go wrong eventually, you should be able to say, I TRIED, I PROMISE I didn’t attempt to sabotage it on purpose.

Wise words but are they conducive to finding happiness with another?

Is that when it becomes more about falling in happiness rather than actually being happy? The first few days or even weeks of any relationship are always the happiest. It’s the “honeymoon” phase and eventually, reality will set in. Sometimes it CAN and WILL last but other times, especially when it seems like all you’re after is the initial happy high, doubt (and paranoia)  sinks in and you refuse to get your heart involved, causing a bit of a traffic jam between your mind, heart and soul.

Is that when it becomes more about chasing the illusion of happiness rather than actual happiness? When you start to reminisce about a past in which you were happy, that’s when issues tend to arise because your present misery could never compete with your past, especially if all you recall are the happier moments and not what lead you to your current predicament. The only thing that could ever trump your past and present combined would be your future, which remains unwritten and can only be determined by you.

I’d rather wait for happiness or even work for it, for real eternal happiness, in the  oversized waiting room we call life than spend my time chasing a mere illusion until the doctor calls to tell me my time is at an end.

What is more important I wonder?

To BE happy Or To LIVE happily for a period of time?

The Moral Code

Okay, I’m not the poster girl for great morals. C’mon I’m a non practising ,practising Muslim/Christian kid from Cape Town. I had my best friend bring me lunch each day because I’m too chicken to tell my father I’m not Muslim enough to fast and too chicken to tell my mother I’m not exactly Christian either – So I’m basically fucked religiously. My views on sex are completely warped and I’ll “lie through my teeth” sometimes.

It’s just that growing up in a religiously complex family and amongst a diversity of cultures and religions; I’ve learned a thing or two. Not only about myself or religion – but what my own specific moral code is. I can’t let something like that be dictated by any person, thing or religious book (especially not a religious book considering that some people take things out of context and literally and then you’ll have fanatics that say you’re not Christian because you don’t belong to some “specific” Christian church or fanatics that’ll blow themselves up).

I’m a simply complex creature, to put it mildly.

Who doesn’t lie? Honestly now? Is there that one person (besides infants) that has never told a lie – EVER? So the lying thing doesn’t bug me DEPENDING on the context, reasoning (it must be pretty damn good – being paid to lie, especially in court, counts as immoral) and situation.

It’s just lately a close friend has been having some conflict and actions have been done. Actions I don’t exactly approve of.

In relationships you are either honest or you’re not in one, and by honest I don’t mean telling your partner you’re planning a surprise. I mean not cheating.

There are some things that I would have absolutely no problem with – If he wants to watch porn; no problem, if he wants to go to a strip club; I’ll trust him (or go with – just saying). If he sticks his tongue down another girls throat; I’ll castrate him – okay maybe not so bad, I’ll just key his car with a baseball bat – repeatedly.

Recently my friend got involved with this guy and started dating him. He’s a real sweetheart and genuinely nice but she ISNT ready for a relationship, especially not when she lets her whoremoans get involved instead of her heart and even logical/rational thought.

She literally would tell other guys – ones she KNEW liked her (and who by some miracle didn’t know she had a bf) that she didn’t want to date this sweetheart, but she still wouldn’t break up with said sweetheart either. AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING WHAT WAS REALLY WRONG WITH THAT? (Okay maybe not – I repeatedly voiced my disapproval, no-one wants a “Jack and Jill” cycle repeat)

What pissed me off most of all? There was a guy that KNEW she had a boyfriend. He KNEW and he still made a move and kissed her! Like WTF?? It’s called boundaries people. Poach someone else’s partner if you’re that desperate (especially if said partner doesn’t want to be in the relationship) but do not, under any circumstances have a cute little hormonal make out session– while she’s dating someone else! It’s disrespectful to both said sweetheart of a guy, and to the girl whose tongue is now down your throat too. It questions not only your morals but hers as well.

Most annoying of all? Boundary-breaker guy told her, “I don’t like him” (oh really? Cause I’d totally approve of a guy that compromised my friends morals and has shown none of his own – yes, it was just a kiss but it could’ve been so much more) and “It upsets him” (too bad- Man up, oh wait guys like that can’t) .

I think in my little perfect world of misdemeanours, cheating is one of the few things that rile me up the most. I always think in terms of, “How would I feel if he did that to me?”. I never want to be put in a situation where that could ever happen.

It just freaks me out, to quite an obsessive extent, but I guess I was partially to blame. Making her promise something I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep, deep down, still hoping she would.

I’m not sure who I am more disturbed with, myself for reacting the way I have, with all my 19 years of inexperience or her with her 21 years of experience to her name. It’s an ironic twist between the “wise” actions of the young and the “foolish” actions of those of “age”.

The thing is, most people are flexible with their morals, all to suit their own specific needs and desires at any given stage and I’m no different and I know it. It’s just … There are some things one shouldn’t be flexible with – completely hypocritical I know and who am I, to have such a strict “moral code” especially considering choices I have made and things I have done …

When did the young become to wise?

And

When did the older generation become so stupid? (I do love you, but it is true)

C’est la vie.

****************************************************************

It’s filled with lots of disapproval and it may not seem like it, but it also contains a message to my friend. I’ll always be there no matter what and who she dates AS LONG AS she dates him with ALL of her and not only pieces of a being. Pieces don’t contribute to the merging of two to one, and that’s how a real relationship should be. A merger between mind, body and soul. – So sue me, I’m a romantic at heart.

Thoughts on love

Once I wrote a piece entitled love.. it went a little like this:

“Love

Truly loving someone means that you are willing to let them go,
Even if it means you will be hurt…
It means loving someone enough to let them decide what is the best for them,
Trusting them to make the right decisions.

It is accepting someone with all their quirks and habits,
Without trying to change them.
It is loving them for who they are and not what you can mould them to be.

It means distance is trivial, when it truly matters.
It means that no matter how the person changes;
You will stay by their side.

It’s turbulent; it’s not calm.
It cannot be measured,
It cannot be orderly.
It cannot be forced.

Love just Is”

And lately I’ve realized what I had written was spot on. Me with all my inexperience of life instinctively knew how meaningful love could be. I knew then what I believe now. I knew that love meant being able to let go, even if it hurts. It meant placing not just your faith but your heart in someone else’s hands and having enough faith, hope and trust in them to know they will make the right choice and decision. I knew it meant accepting them no matter what, regardless of quirks, habits or problems. It also meant accepting them as they are without feeling the need to stamp our mark on their beings, changing or making them into something they can never be and in return hoping they would feel the same and hoping they would not attempt placing their mark on you or trying to change you. It means even though you loved them as they were when you met and they loved you for who you were, people change and so does love. Sometimes for the better and sometimes… to our own detriment. Distance and separation means nothing. Obstacles can make or break you even if you want things to remain the same. Love cannot be forced. We cannot pretend to love nor can we accept love that is not real, even though we desperately wish it were real. We cannot forsake our own happiness for the sake of others nor expect them to do the same in the name of love. In the end it just leads to misery for both people involved. One cannot try and recapture that which is lost or never had a chance to thrive but only move forward and hope things get better because THAT is what love can be. It can be a never ending hope. A dream. A dare. A chance to discover who you are when with someone who allows you to be you. It is untamable and wild. Like the ocean, it is not only passionate and turbulent; it is as calm and serene, smooth as glass. It is the quintessence of life itself. It drives us towards what we can only hope is a better, brighter future. A place of new beginnings, an eternal Eden. A place where our hearts can be free.

**************

Recently my great uncle passed away during the night on Tuesday the 3rd of July 2012 , he was 81 years old.

He would’ve been married to my great aunt for 60 years, this December and one of the last things he did on Tuesday night was go and sit with his wife and tell her how much he loved her. He asked her if she still loved him and she replied “Yes I do, how can you ask me such a stupid question”. He then proceeded to tell my great aunt exactly how much he loved her and how much she meant to him, he also thanked her for being his wife.

A love like that, is hard to find, impossible to forget and eternal to those touched by it.

**************

Gods Vs. Godzilla

The following post comes courtesy of “ninetalesfox” (Having based it on a previous post -of his, BUT from a feminine perspective and yes I received his permission first). As women there comes a time when it’s a necessary requirement that we use code words or even subtle(or not so subtle –imagine two meerkats in a library on the lookout for “predators” AKA Guys worthy of our attention; Now that is what myself and nuky are like) looks, glances , humming and rib crushing nudges to identify how we rate a guy walking past or eating lunch outside the main food court or even in one of our classes ( It’s such a pity that Blackberry camera makes a noise, especially since nuky and I are in different classes, it makes the sharing process so much harder). To do this we’ve used a scale of 1 – 10, bear in mind, the scale differs from group to group. This is an attempt to standardize our very own scale.

10. The Gods

Greek gods, Thor (as real as Chris Hemsworth is, it becomes one of those “Out of your league” cases) and every other non sparkling Hero that exist not only in our imaginations but on the “Big Screen”. They are the epitome of masculinity, sensitivity, charm and a boatload of sex appeal. These are the tall, dark and handsome men we could only dream about. These are the men that feminine wet dreams are made of. Rational thought goes flying when one of these men are around, we would need to be restrained in order to stop us from going over there and flinging ourselves at one of them. For surely no good could come of such a union besides being a notch on his bedpost. Fortunately, we savvier females are capable of class (albeit we might drool a bit but hey, we are only human after all)

9. The Taken

These are the downright handsome in an “OMG Nuky! He looks like Thor!!” kind of way. These men are not commonly found. These are the rarest type to find single hence the name “The Taken” and if you do ever have that chance, you are morally obligated to at least get some action (Even tonsil hockey) and his number (perhaps for a repeat of the previous night). And record it, to share ever so lovingly over coffee the next day with your best friend.

8. The Singer/Songwriter/Model

These are the guys with obvious good looks knows how to use em. He is often a singer/songwriter or model (Which means he’s had more than a few throw themselves at him). Now beware there are two types to this category. The self obsessed type (who won’t care about you and will have issues if A) You don’t think the sun shines out of his ass and B) your world doesn’t revolve around him ) and the genuinely nice guy type ( who respects you as a person and as his girl). If you ever manage to date someone like this, ensure it’s the nice guy type, unless you actually want to date a douche then by all means go for the self obsessed type.

7. The Boy-Next-Door

Herein you find the perfect balance. He is the perfectly balanced mix of good looks, charm and a likable (almost lovable) personality. He’s hot enough to turn heads but only those of your friends (and other random women in public). He’s the boy-next-door: Good looking bordering on downright hot but down to earth so there’s no ego involved, someone you’d bring home to meet your parents. He’s exceptional boyfriend material: He’s hot enough to turn heads , yet will still let his focus remain solely on you and not on the many women watching him. Honestly, he’s like the perfect male.

6. The Wingman

Also known (thank you fox) as ‘Second-Best’. As the best friend, this is the one you go for when you realise the higher numbers want your best friend, this is also the one you throw yourself at so your friend can have a chance with her ‘Prince Charming’ (He better be a Prince to her or I’d kick the crap out of him , and I know she’d do the same for me). They don’t even have to look good but maybe if he lost some weight, gymed a bit and if you tilt your head and squint your eyes…

5. The Creeper

With a lot of alcohol in your system, making your mind see ‘hot’ when he’s clearly a ‘not’, this is the guy that will approach you, in the hopes that you’re drunk enough to allow him access to your “Special place” (On a side note, if you’re drunk enough to do this often, then it’s not really special anymore, then it’s just a place). And the morning after when all that remains is a slight ( or not so slight) buzz in your head and you realised what you’ve done, he’ll ether seem creepy and you’ll then proceed with that awkward morning after conversation (I thankfully wouldn’t know what that conversation is, as I unfortunately don’t drink – much) or likable enough to go on a proper date with until you find out he has a few kinky fetishes for the absurd ( or Is just generally into the whole weird sex, two girls one cup, the spitting cobra type scene ). These are the guys that lurk in clubs and pubs, always keeping to the shadows and tend to only appear when the female in question looks well on her way to drunk-ville. These are the guys that don’t ‘do’ long term per say but there’s a great chance they ‘do’ however favour the stalk-you-till-you-take-me-back-bitch thing (At this point, you deactivate your Facebook account and change your name to something inconspicuous and leave the country). These guys are the stalkers, crazies and general creepers with the odd normal-won’t-stalk-you guy tossed in.

4. Male Relatives

From this point onwards, all males featured include those you wouldn’t go near with a barge pole (At least not consensually). These are men you not only friendzone but you place them on the same page as family members. They are the guys that make you take a step further than friendzoning (yes, to all my male readers you DO get worse than the friendzone), they are the guys you “Familyzone”. Whether it be as a brother or even like a father figure, this is territory you, under no circumstances, ever want to wander into. These are the best friend’s boyfriend (or Ex) or worse yet an actual relative, these are your ex’s friends and sometimes (sadly) these are the 8’s, 7’s and 6’s you know are complete tools, no matter how much you like em, these guys can even be in your group of friends (this is when it’s the most dangerous, the guys in your group of friends see you as you usually are, with your guard down ; DO NOT GO THERE – Trust me, I know, there’s way too much drama involved ). You would never insult these guys by remarking on their looks (sometimes they can even be 8’s or 7’s – Who am I kidding? You don’t let friends date below 6) but when you’re “predator” spotting ( Yes, females tend to like a bit of danger – and NO danger does not mean slapping her ), these sweethearts don’t even register as ‘dangerous’.

3-2 Poor souls

These are the guys I genuinely wish could get girls who deserve them( and by that I mean girls who love them and not just their ability to do homework or any work given because a “hot” girl asked them). The thing is, no-one can determine their genetic gene pool ( and bitches plastic surgery doesn’t work because your kids will still look like you – rather be content with who you are ) and that’s life. However if these guys ever want a girl ranked an 8 or up, my advice? Get rich. Money is a great motivator to get your trophy wife, but remember, money doesn’t buy love or happiness (unless you’re a tad psychotic and don’t actually know what happiness is), BUT bear in mind, not every “Poor Soul” is a nice “Poor Soul”, some of them have as much sensitivity as a brick and as much charm as horse shit (Avoid them like the plague).

1 Scum of the Earth

These are the guys that make Godzilla look appealing in looks and personality.

The “eX” files: Part 3 : The “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING” Relationship

The “eX” Files

Yes, most of us know what it is like to have an ex and there are different parts to it I guess.
(Bearing in mind I’m no expert and this is just my own quirky opinion on it)

Part 3: The “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING??”relationships

Part 1:

Hindsight can be a bitch and makes me wonder why we haven’t created a time machine just yet, just to fix those “never should have happened” relationships, ensuring they never happened.
Everyone has experienced those relationships, the ones where we look back and ask ourselves that one fundamental question after a bad relationship,

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING??”

These are the various relationships that we were too stubborn to listen to our friends and family about. These are the relationships we went through with paper bags (with eye holes cut in them), over our heads, so we only saw our partner (retards tunnel vision). These are the “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING??”Relationships.

***

There are the emotional baggage relationships:

Whereby one person is either plagued by parental issues (I admit, I have some issues here) or worse consumed by a depression so intense, lassie wouldn’t be able to find her way home in it (and bear in mind, lassie found her way home after being taken to some place hundreds of miles distant in Scotland – this dog could do anything). Usually in relationships like this you either sink (and become even more depressed) or swim ( which could mean you either make something of it – and yes, I know a few happy couples – or it could mean you cut yourself lose and move on with your life).
The problem that arises in these types of relationships is when one person finds his or her feelings have changed and tries to end it.

This is when you get the:
“I can’t live without you” stage:
Here the person in question attempts to blackmail you into staying by (stupidly enough) threatening to end his or her life, thereby making you at fault if he or she dies.
This is the worst scenario anyone can face; no one wants the death of another on his or her conscience (except maybe serial killers and mass murderers who sometimes take sadistic pleasure in what they do).
Many people then find themselves trapped in situations just like this one (I was there) eventually you just have to reach out to your respective soon to be ex’s friends and family (and psychologist) and have them help him or her with the loss of, well ,you. I’m not saying be a total bitch/dickwad about it. I’m just saying give them time to accept it, take things slow, give them time to wean themselves off of you the way mothers wean babies off of breast feeding ( and I’m not talking about those mothers who do it till their child is like 5 or 6 or whatever). One thing is certain though, you can’t be held liable for his/her actions nor can you blame yourself for his/her actions.
And YES! I know there are cases where the ex is to blame but daddy and even mommy should buy a shotgun and keep those types away from your precious little girls and boys. (HOWEVER! Do not take the law into your own hands, DO NOT KILL the S.OB, I repeat, DO NOT KILL the S.OB)

***

There are the “love me” not relationships:

This is the relationship most women (and admittedly some men) are petrified of. This is the relationship whereby one person cannot seem to formulate those three little words women LOVE to hear.

“I love you”

Yup, those three little words can make or break a relationship. To some, it smacks of commitment and some men (A little birdie told me) upon hearing a woman they aren’t related to say these three little words, run as if Cerberus (The three headed dog that guards the underworld) is chasing them because they feel that the minute they say those three little words, wedding bells go off in a woman’s head. YES! For some women wedding bells do go off (NOW these bitches either be crazy OR actually genuinely in love with him). To others it’s three words that could mean the difference between spending your life searching for the right person with the wrong people because you couldn’t say those words or finding that special someone and being brave enough to take a chance.

This is when you sometimes get the:
“Running Man” stage: Named the running man stage (as unfortunately men are more likely to run from this) this is the part where the male usually does a runner (sometimes women do it too – think of Julia Roberts in “runaway bride”). All I can say is rather now than at the altar (or wherever it is that you want to get married). Sometimes the person just needs time and sometimes he/she just needs that wake up call to make them acknowledge their feelings (and NO I do not mean you should kidnap them or stalk them – give them time).

***

There are the “Tom and Gerry” relationships:

As we all know (those of us who had a childhood and did not watch Jersey Shore or Bieber), Tom and Jerry were two of the most awesome characters EVER! They fought non-stop but still loved one another (Hence the name “Tom and Gerry” relationships – Gerry just seemed more feminine to use). These relationships can be extremely volatile as you never know what to expect from Tom or Gerry. Apparently though the sex can blow your mind (That’s a theory one should test out). The problem however arises when one person in the couple isn’t strong enough to be either character.

This is when you sometimes get the:
“Battered and bruised” stage: In a “Tom and Gerry” relationships violence and dominance set the stage for what can either lead to a fantastic relationship (You know what I mean *nudge nudge, wink wink* ) or can lead to something far more dangerous, especially if one partner becomes abusive ,this however is not something to joke about. GET OUT IMMEDIATILY!! It’s the safest thing to do, regardless of whether or not it’s physical, mental or emotional abuse, GET OUT!! You do not want to be another statistic on a chart or screw your children up further. There are help-lines all over, for this very issue.
Friends and family are a vital safety net you can rely on should things go wrong with your partner, DO NOT remain silent about it. And as I stated before daddy and even mommy should buy a shotgun and keep those types away from your precious little girls and boys (HOWEVER! Do not take the law into your own hands, DO NOT KILL the S.OB, I repeat, DO NOT KILL the S.OB – Report him/her to the police and file a restraining order)

***

The “Money –go round” relationship”:

Sad fact, this is the relationship type that usually ends up giving women a bad name. This is the relationship whereby men with money allow themselves to be duped by bombshell babes, manipulative whores or easy access to her “not so secret place”. This is the relationship that thrives when money is involved and tends to wane when the money is less and “nooky” time becomes a thing of the past and the poor sod is relegated to the couch at night because she has a “headache” (what she really means is her legs open for a price – bear in mind, this isn’t all relationships only the “Money –go round” relationship” is applicable here) or she’s sulking.

This is when you sometimes get the:
“Fair weather girlfriend” stage: As long as money comes in and you can spoil her she doesn’t care, when the money stops she becomes like a “fair weather friend” and vanishes when you need her most. This is the type of person that will date and dump you for bigger, brighter and definitely greener pastures. You on the other hand should be celebrating the minute she does (if you’re not bankrupt by then of course).

***

The Friend –Hater relationships:

This in my opinion is one of the worst kinds of relationship to be in. You’re stuck between choosing the people that have always been there for you or your latest partner ( the one you hope will be the one and either put a ring on you or like you enough to let you put a ring on it – A wedding ring on his/her finger for you dirty minded folk out there , yes I mean you nuky – ). This can honestly be tougher than trying to maintain your willpower when you see your favourite chocolate after dieting for two months (I personally can’t last a week). Eventually a rift will form between you and your “now so close to being ex friends” friend and that’s when you have to make your choice

This is when you sometimes get the:
“Shout or Pout” stage: Depending on your partners gender he or she may end up doing both of these things and you have no option left but to make your choice because remember he or she would have done any and almost everything to get you to drop your friends or vice versa BUT BEWARE!!! You DO get those cases where your so called friends are absolute assholes (male and female alike), so make sure you know EXACTLY what’s going on. In the instances where your friends aren’t absolute assholes pick your friends. They were there for you from the start don’t let a great friendship go to waste because he’s hot or she’s got a nice ass. However In the instances where your friends are absolute assholes (who are probably jealous) pick your partner and make new friends (How you may ask? Join a gym, book club or whatever and meet new people). Just always be aware of the fact that the choices you make will impact your life in one way or another.

***

Basically these “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING??” relationships have taught us exactly what we needed to learn at any given moment. It’s one of those life lessons we could never mature without.

(There are honestly so many different types of “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING??” relationships that I doubt I could note all of them down, however I will keep updating this piece.)