Pissed off and Disappointed

I admit, I wrote this piece in quite a rage on Saturday night and I didn’t want to publish it as  post simply because it might or might not hurt the person in questions feelings but then again, my feelings deserve to be heard and acknowledge too and I won’t and can’t let this fester inside me anymore.

I’m not that mad anymore, merely disappointed and I know I would’ve understood a helluva lot more if I just got a simple message saying “Look, I can’t come sorry”

That’s all.

I’d like to hope things can be patched up, I mean I’m not the easiest friend to have but then again if it’s not….  To quote a very wise bear from one of his twitter tweetings,

TED ‏

@TedInRealLife :I’ve learned not to chase after anyone anymore. You want to walk out of my life? Go ahead, I’ll hold the door.

 

Wise words from a wise bear, don’t you think?

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I’m  honestly just so pissed off right now I’m torn between crying and screaming.

There are things we do for friends or people we care about, but there are also things we do to and or for others. Common curtsey dictates that when I make plans for you to stay over almost TWO weeks in advance (and getting my dad to like one of my friends is a pain in the ass, so if he likes you then well DAMN) and you decide to go do whatever it is your doing without even a message, shows exactly what you think of me and yes, I may be freaking out about something “trivial” but when you know someone that always replies and you’re stuck watching time pass waiting for a reply, you obviously start to worry.

She was meant to arrive after 1, I messaged her at 12.30 no reply. I ask her brother where she is at 2 and she’s out shopping. My messages deliver in consecutive order as the hours pass by and I’m starting to freak the fuck out but no, no message not even a freaking facebook message. It’s almost 7pm and she finally messages me to let me know she’s home safe and sound after being out shopping.

Hello. If  I make plans with you don’t DARE cancel on me almost FIVE HOURS later! I could’ve spent my day doing something else instead of waiting for you! My mother wanted to go to a yearly church bazaar but no, my friend was coming so we had to wait. My mother never willingly baked for my other friends nor would she go out of her way to prep things for supper and take out meats etc for a awesome breakfast the next day.

Don’t dare give me any form of pathetic excuse for not even a single message. If you weren’t with someone who was either a) holding a gun to your head or b) attempting to commit suicide or even c) having a baby don’t dare not send a message. Heck I’d even understand if your other friend got dumped and needed retail therapy don’t NOT say a single word to me until the sun has already set.

I actually like to think I CARE about my friends so don’t EVER think to call yourself my friend if you didn’t even have the decency to let me know you won’t be coming over.

I think I’m honestly more disappointed than anything else and if you don’t want to spend time with me, say so because quite frankly I refuse to let you or anyone else turn me into one of those typically pathetic kids we see on American TV shows, you know which ones I’m talking about, the loser waiting for her classmates to come over for a party but no-one shows up? Yeah that’s not me nor will it ever be me.

Sad realization is that I think I was turned into that pathetic kid on TV. Subconsciously I had relegated myself to that role and the person who would normally never disappoint me, was the cool kid who never showed up.

Thanks for that feeling.

It means a lot to me, especially knowing how expendable my feelings and time is in your little world.

***************************************************************

As you can see, I was pissed of beyond belief but I think I’m okay now that it’s off my chest.

How you react, well …

That’s your choice.

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Pissed off and Disappointed

  1. The right reaction.Some times we can’t afford letting others push us around.Yourself comes first.Bravo.Jalal

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