Am I even date-able? ,
I sometimes wonder to myself. Like seriously my home life is messed up .. Super over protective Muslim indian dad who only wants a muslim/indian boy for his “moekies” (yes, that’s what he calls me) and a coloured mother ( German /Filipino mix) who prefers white/christian males Seriously? When did MY choices become that of my parents. My mother is still a Christian so she never converted to Islam and my father is still a Muslim who didn’t force her to convert. So I’m royally screwed in terms of religion.
I was raised by my mothers family, mostly shunned by my fathers family ( hence my mums family raising me) so I do lean towards one side more than the other but regardless of that I can’t choose either religion despite what people say. According to some, you are what your mother is and according to others you are what your father is.
So WTF am I?? I can’t choose either without offending the other parent. So I decided that I’d adopt whatever religion my future husband or whatever has and I admit, I’ve experimented with some religions.. Some more pagan than others but still. I’ve taken an agnostic view of this thing but there was a conversation I had with a friend that bugged me.
Today, we were in one of the buildings on campus, chilling on the stairs and talking (He had previously joked that next time he saw me he’d ask me out – He forgot XD) so I asked why he bothered coming to campus since he hardly goes to lectures and he replied he came to Uni to get a degree.. Lectures weren’t a necessity, being me, I asked so not even for the girls? And he replied in kind that he tried that as a first year and it didn’t work out so great, so now he’d rather go to “temple” ( He’s hindu) to meet girls, as they aren’t as distracted or busy at temple.
I admit, I laughed.
Later on we had a talk about him having forgotten to ask me out and in turn I replied that he shouldn’t ask me out and then I said something which kinda stuck with me, ” Go meet a nice, normal, religious girl at temple. It’s the safest thing to do”
Have I become so bad that I’ve gotten to the point of being that girl overly religious parents warn their sons about? Not by doing any dirty deed mind you but by simply not having one set faith?
What is the definition of “normal”? And why did I even set myself down like that in the first place?
Is it seriously all because of religious differences or differences within myself? Like a great divide which separates my brain from rational thought almost like a defence mechanism to protect me from being shunned further because of religion.
I’ve always wondered how awkward it must be to have to explain to parents exactly how you are, especially in terms of religion and religious ignorance is not bliss.
Even more so when the guy (who could be fanfreakingtasticly amazing for all I know) has an overly religious family.
I grew up in a situation like that and quite frankly, it sucked. There is no eloquent way to describe it. It just sucked. Always on the outside never quite sure if I belonged or not. This religious divide can seriously fuck a kid up and it did fuck me up and I guess because of it religion in general will always be a touchy, raw nerve kind of subject with me.
Where does one draw a line (if ever) in terms of religion and dating? Do you only date within a specific religious group? (Some people do – but what if you miss “The One” because of it? Settling sucks) Do you try and force them to accept your beliefs? What should one do?
Sad thing is .. No one really knows the answers to these questions because everyone’s life is different and I can only hope that one day I’ll be able to answer these questions.