Okay, I’m not the poster girl for great morals. C’mon I’m a non practising ,practising Muslim/Christian kid from Cape Town. I had my best friend bring me lunch each day because I’m too chicken to tell my father I’m not Muslim enough to fast and too chicken to tell my mother I’m not exactly Christian either – So I’m basically fucked religiously. My views on sex are completely warped and I’ll “lie through my teeth” sometimes.
It’s just that growing up in a religiously complex family and amongst a diversity of cultures and religions; I’ve learned a thing or two. Not only about myself or religion – but what my own specific moral code is. I can’t let something like that be dictated by any person, thing or religious book (especially not a religious book considering that some people take things out of context and literally and then you’ll have fanatics that say you’re not Christian because you don’t belong to some “specific” Christian church or fanatics that’ll blow themselves up).
I’m a simply complex creature, to put it mildly.
Who doesn’t lie? Honestly now? Is there that one person (besides infants) that has never told a lie – EVER? So the lying thing doesn’t bug me DEPENDING on the context, reasoning (it must be pretty damn good – being paid to lie, especially in court, counts as immoral) and situation.
It’s just lately a close friend has been having some conflict and actions have been done. Actions I don’t exactly approve of.
In relationships you are either honest or you’re not in one, and by honest I don’t mean telling your partner you’re planning a surprise. I mean not cheating.
There are some things that I would have absolutely no problem with – If he wants to watch porn; no problem, if he wants to go to a strip club; I’ll trust him (or go with – just saying). If he sticks his tongue down another girls throat; I’ll castrate him – okay maybe not so bad, I’ll just key his car with a baseball bat – repeatedly.
Recently my friend got involved with this guy and started dating him. He’s a real sweetheart and genuinely nice but she ISNT ready for a relationship, especially not when she lets her whoremoans get involved instead of her heart and even logical/rational thought.
She literally would tell other guys – ones she KNEW liked her (and who by some miracle didn’t know she had a bf) that she didn’t want to date this sweetheart, but she still wouldn’t break up with said sweetheart either. AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING WHAT WAS REALLY WRONG WITH THAT? (Okay maybe not – I repeatedly voiced my disapproval, no-one wants a “Jack and Jill” cycle repeat)
What pissed me off most of all? There was a guy that KNEW she had a boyfriend. He KNEW and he still made a move and kissed her! Like WTF?? It’s called boundaries people. Poach someone else’s partner if you’re that desperate (especially if said partner doesn’t want to be in the relationship) but do not, under any circumstances have a cute little hormonal make out session– while she’s dating someone else! It’s disrespectful to both said sweetheart of a guy, and to the girl whose tongue is now down your throat too. It questions not only your morals but hers as well.
Most annoying of all? Boundary-breaker guy told her, “I don’t like him” (oh really? Cause I’d totally approve of a guy that compromised my friends morals and has shown none of his own – yes, it was just a kiss but it could’ve been so much more) and “It upsets him” (too bad- Man up, oh wait guys like that can’t) .
I think in my little perfect world of misdemeanours, cheating is one of the few things that rile me up the most. I always think in terms of, “How would I feel if he did that to me?”. I never want to be put in a situation where that could ever happen.
It just freaks me out, to quite an obsessive extent, but I guess I was partially to blame. Making her promise something I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep, deep down, still hoping she would.
I’m not sure who I am more disturbed with, myself for reacting the way I have, with all my 19 years of inexperience or her with her 21 years of experience to her name. It’s an ironic twist between the “wise” actions of the young and the “foolish” actions of those of “age”.
The thing is, most people are flexible with their morals, all to suit their own specific needs and desires at any given stage and I’m no different and I know it. It’s just … There are some things one shouldn’t be flexible with – completely hypocritical I know and who am I, to have such a strict “moral code” especially considering choices I have made and things I have done …
When did the young become to wise?
When did the older generation become so stupid? (I do love you, but it is true)
C’est la vie.
It’s filled with lots of disapproval and it may not seem like it, but it also contains a message to my friend. I’ll always be there no matter what and who she dates AS LONG AS she dates him with ALL of her and not only pieces of a being. Pieces don’t contribute to the merging of two to one, and that’s how a real relationship should be. A merger between mind, body and soul. – So sue me, I’m a romantic at heart.