Writing eases the Ache

The weird thing I re-discovered a moment ago. I always knew to be true…
But I never experienced it again until a few minutes ago…
They say writing down what you feel helps.
That it clears your mind…
Calms you…
Soothes you…

It is actually true.

The meltdown of a few minutes ago feels miles away…
What you write is not important.
As long as it is what you feel.
As long as it is what needs to be said.
Even though someone might not read it; Even if they do.
They cannot change the way you feel.

Like I had said before

“The written word cannot be tarnished,
Except by the man who wrote it and by
The man who comprehends its meaning but;
Meaning is lost over time…
And time is lost over meaning… ”

Weird huh?

Hardly anyone in this world shows they care, but I do.
I show it with every fibre of my being.
I love unconditionally.
I pour heart and soul into it.
I carry their burdens as my own.
I comfort them

But

No one does it for me.

I am completely confused.
Helping or loving people is not meant to change me.
I am meant to stay the same.
It is not meant to make me aggressive or depressed, but lately it has begun to do so.
I am aggravated easily now and filled with more despair than usual.

The solution I was given.

“Stop making other peoples shit your own. They aren’t sheep”

Great solution but the thing is, sheep do not try and commit suicide.
Humans decide when they must die.
Sheep do not use you for comfort and discard you as easily as a broken toy
Most humans however have no compunction in terms of “Use em and lose em”
So does not helping a person mean I am deciding to let them die? Am I cruel enough to do that?
So does giving all of myself to one that cannot treat me right mean I am stupid? Am I?

No…

And I never will be. However weak it may seem, helping people is as much a part of my life as poetry.
Falling for the wrong guy is part of growing up into the woman I am destined to become, no matter how many frogs there are.

I just need to learn to let go…
Letting go is the key to taming the inner rage…
Letting go is the key to finding myself before I find a partner.
Letting it wash away…

Thank you “S”…
Thank you very very much…

2 thoughts on “Writing eases the Ache

  1. Kain says:

    A Discerning truth lays herein and most honestly is what you have eloquently touched upon in this piece… as shakespear said..”to thine own self be true” … The determination to do what is Good and Right is far more rewarding than the whimpers of experiences that tempt to degrade us.. for truly …we are gods in the image of our maker and we decide our growth from what we learn. Well done, very well done little sister… I am proud of you.

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